getting old is stupid

[cherrysmum]

my mom is 88 years old smokes a pack of camels a day...eats whatever she feels like...go figure...I try to do all the healthy stuff and spend a fortune and endless time on dr and meds..

[ellanoize]

Two senior citizens were bragging about their sex lives at the nursing home,

"Can you still do it? I have sex with my wife twice a week. How many can you do?"

"Oh, I do it almost every night of the week!"

"Almost every night!!?????"

"Yup! Almost Monday, Almost Tuesday, Almost Wednesday,............"

[cherrysmum]

hahahah....glad I'm not a "senior"

[ellanoize]

George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off.

Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."

"Harriet, she's a prostitute."

"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"

"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."

In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come to room 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?"

Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively.

George asked, "How much do you charge?"

"$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services."

Even George was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25."

Bambi laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."

"Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye."

After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!"

George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner."

At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"

[cherrysmum]

Just when I thought Pethead couldn't top the Flexall/fixodent fiasco, he did indeed..He was waiting in the car while I saw my doctor yesterday...and getting bored...he decided to look through my zip loc bag of meds...I keep them on hand at all times..inside was an epi pen...now I just got the twin-pac a few days ago along with a "trainer" {that's a fake epi pen that teaches you how to properly use the dang thing}...WELL Pethead thinks the one in my ziploc bag is the trainer...and he jabs it into his thigh through his jeans..and fortunately realized as the needle entered his flesh that it was the real thing and immediately pulled it out..I can only imagine the results if he hadn't pulled it out quickly...not to mention $55.00 down the drain LOL...I swear he is an accident just waiting to happen.

[cherrysis]

HJAHAHAHA ROTF OMG!!!

Okay Mum for future reference
Back him a bag of goodies to keep him entertained like I do Ty...snacks, books, music, toys and if all elese fails strap his butt back into a car seat HAHAHAHAHA...
[img]biggrin.gif[/img]

[Cherry_pez]

That is not funny. He could really get hurt. Tell that dumb ass to stay out of your things before he ends up dead.

[ellanoize]

An elerly couple had been married for 50 years, and were having breakfast one morning when the woman says: "You know when we were first married we used to have breakfast every morning butt naked. Do you think we could try again?"

He thinks that's a good idea and they take off their clothes.

After a few minutes she says: "You know my breasts still get hot for you even after all these years."

He replies: " Honey, that's because you have one nipple in your oatmeal and the other in your coffee."